Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
