sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
