i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
