AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
