My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
