Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
