I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
