just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize