I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
