Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
