going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
