eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
