Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
