The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
