I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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