I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
She's the barista slut.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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