Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
