You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize