Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
