so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
