shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
