idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
