hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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