mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
