this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
