its not stalking. its research.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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