i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
