What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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