There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
