I'm pants shitting drunk right now
It's Friday. Sex?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
