Can i not drive my cunt home
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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