Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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