That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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