I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
