You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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