we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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