I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
