...so i touched it.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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