well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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