can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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