he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
