I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
whose parrot is this?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
