im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
