My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
