we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
