we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
