so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
