hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
