Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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