yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
