Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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