How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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