I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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