its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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