called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize